Buying

A first purchase

The catalogue is enormous and most of it is irrelevant to any one person. Four questions remove the majority of it.

Starting from nothing is genuinely difficult, because the vocabulary assumes knowledge that only comes from owning things. The way through is to answer a few questions about the body and the situation rather than about the products, and let those answers filter the catalogue.

Question one: external, internal or both

External stimulation is where most orgasms come from for most people with a vulva, and external objects are smaller, cheaper and less intimidating. Internal objects address a different sensation and are usually more satisfying once the external question is already answered. Buying one object that attempts both is a common first move and frequently a disappointing one, since the compromise dilutes both.

Question two: rumble or buzz

Anyone who has found vibration numbing should start with a rumbly motor or with a pressure wave device. Anyone who has never tried either has nothing to go on and is usually better served by a rumbly design, since it suits more people and the sensation lasts longer before adaptation sets in. The motors page explains why.

Question three: how much noise can be tolerated

In a shared house or a flat with thin walls, this decides more than any other factor, because an object that cannot be used is worthless whatever its qualities. Smaller motors in soft shells are quieter, and the noise page explains why a soft surface underneath matters more than the specification.

Question four: waterproof or not

Fully waterproof objects are easier to clean, which matters more over a year than any bath related plan. If two candidates are otherwise equal, the sealed one is the better buy for that reason alone.

What to ignore

Setting counts above three or four, which are mostly patterns.
Application control, unless there is a distance involved.
Anything described as revolutionary, since the mechanisms are well established.
Bundle deals, which usually pair one reasonable object with three blend novelties.

A reasonable first purchase is a non porous external object with a rumbly motor, fully sealed, with a simple control layout and a wide range at the quiet end. That description covers a large number of products across every part of the market. Ranges collected for exactly this purpose, such as the inWonderstate selection, are a reasonable place to compare that specification across brands.

After the first month

One object teaches more than any amount of reading. After a month it is usually clear whether the sensation wanted is deeper or sharper, whether external is enough, and whether noise turned out to matter. A second purchase made on those three answers is far more likely to be used than a first purchase made on a photograph.