Section three
Lubricants
Lubricant is the cheapest change available and the one most often skipped. It is also the only product in this category with real chemistry behind the label.
Friction is the source of most discomfort during sex, and friction is a physical quantity rather than a mood. Adding a layer with a low coefficient of friction between two surfaces removes it. Everything else in this section is about which layer, since the four common formulas behave differently against materials, against skin and against water.
The four formulas
- Water based
- Safe with every material and every barrier method. Absorbs and dries, so it needs reapplication or a splash of water to revive it.
- Silicone based
- Long lasting, unaffected by water, excellent for baths and showers. Not for use with silicone objects, and it stains some fabrics.
- Hybrid
- Mostly water with a small silicone content. Lasts longer than water alone and behaves like a water based formula for most purposes, although the silicone rule still applies to a few soft objects.
- Oil based
- Long lasting and useful for external massage. Degrades latex, which rules it out with latex condoms, and is difficult to rinse from textiles.
- Water based covers osmolality, glycerine and why some formulas go tacky.
- Silicone based explains the material conflict in detail.
- Oil and hybrid sets out where each belongs.
- Compatibility is the grid to check before combining anything.
Why the ingredient list matters
Vaginal and rectal tissue is thin, absorbent and populated by bacteria that keep it healthy. A formula that pulls water out of cells, or that suppresses those bacteria, can leave tissue more irritated after use than before. That is not an exotic risk; it is the ordinary result of a high osmolality formula used regularly, which the ingredients page works through.
A lubricant is applied to absorbent tissue and left there. It deserves the same attention as anything else applied to a mucous membrane.
How much, and when
Most people use too little and apply it too late. A reasonable starting quantity is more than instinct suggests, applied to both surfaces before contact rather than as a rescue afterwards. Water based formulas revive with a few drops of water rather than another layer of product, which is worth knowing before a bottle is written off as sticky.
Reapplication is normal and not a sign that anything is wrong. Bodies vary through the month, through the years and with medication, and using lubricant routinely rather than only when there is a problem removes an entire category of small discomforts.
Where formulas are listed
Retailers usually group lubricants by base, which makes comparison straightforward once the base is decided. A category such as the inWonderstate listing separates water based from silicone and states the full ingredient list per product, which is the part worth reading.