Lubricants
Oil and hybrid
Two smaller categories, each with a narrow role and one significant restriction between them.
Oil based products cover everything from a dedicated massage oil to coconut oil out of a kitchen cupboard. They last a long time, they feel rich rather than slippery, and they suit external use and massage particularly well. They also come with the single firmest rule in this section.
Oil and latex
Oil degrades latex rapidly. A latex condom exposed to oil loses strength within minutes, and the failure is not visible before it happens. That rules out oil based products with latex condoms, latex gloves and latex barriers of any kind. Polyurethane and polyisoprene condoms are not affected in the same way, although the manufacturer's own guidance is worth reading, since formulations differ.
Oil and the vaginal environment
Oil is difficult to rinse from tissue and can persist for a day or more. For some people that is unremarkable; for others it disrupts the balance of the vaginal microbiome and leads to irritation or recurrent thrush. Given that the alternatives are straightforward, most guidance keeps oil to external use, which is also where it performs best.
What a hybrid contains
A hybrid is mostly water with a small proportion of silicone fluid, usually somewhere under twenty per cent, emulsified into a stable cream. It lasts longer than a water based formula, rinses far more easily than a silicone one, and has a distinctive smooth feel that many people prefer to either parent.
Material compatibility is the part to watch. Most hybrids are fine with silicone objects because the silicone content is low and dispersed, but a small number of very soft silicone pieces still react. A patch test on the base of an object settles it in five minutes, and the inWonderstate listings state the base of each formula so the question can be answered before ordering.
Choosing between them
| Use | Best choice | Avoid |
|---|---|---|
| Everyday internal use | Water based | Oil |
| Bath and shower | Silicone | Water based |
| Massage | Oil or silicone | Water based |
| With silicone objects | Water based or tested hybrid | Silicone |
| With latex condoms | Water based or silicone | Oil |
Most drawers end up with two bottles: a water based formula for ordinary use and a silicone one for water and for longer sessions. A third bottle of oil is a massage product that happens to live in the same place, and treating it that way avoids the one situation where it causes harm.
Kitchen oils
Coconut oil and similar kitchen products are widely used and are chemically reasonable for external use. The caveats are the same as for any oil: not with latex, difficult to rinse from tissue, and messy on fabric. A jar kept for this purpose rather than shared with cooking avoids the obvious hygiene problem of a shared container.