Section seven
Safety
Most of what goes wrong is mechanical and preventable: friction, a material that cannot be cleaned, or a shape without a base.
Safety in this category rarely involves anything dramatic. It involves thin tissue, friction, bacteria that belong in one place and not another, and objects that were designed for a different purpose. Each of those has a straightforward answer.
The four that matter
- Skin and friction covers micro tears, why they matter, and how lubricant prevents them.
- Intimate hygiene deals with washing, the microbiome, and the products that make things worse.
- Anal safety sets out the flared base rule and the sequence that prevents infection.
- Allergies and reactions works through latex, fragrance and the ingredients most often responsible.
The general principles
- Use enough lubricant, and reapply before it becomes necessary rather than after.
- Use non porous materials internally, or a barrier over anything porous.
- Never move from anal to vaginal contact without changing the barrier or washing first.
- Anything used anally has a flared base, without exception.
- Stop at pain rather than working through it, since pain is information.
Nearly every problem in this category is a friction problem, a cleaning problem or a retrieval problem. All three are prevented rather than treated.
When to see a clinician
Bleeding that does not stop quickly, pain that persists after the event, a fever, a discharge that has changed in smell or colour, or anything retained internally are all reasons to seek medical attention rather than advice from a website. Clinicians see this frequently and are not interested in the circumstances beyond what is medically relevant.
Persistent pain during sex is a common symptom with many causes, most of them treatable, and it is not something to accept as normal. Products that reduce friction help with one cause and none of the others, which is why the friction page ends by pointing at the difference.
Shared use
Sharing objects between partners is straightforward with a barrier and a wash between users, and genuinely risky without either, since several infections transmit comfortably on a surface. A condom changed between users solves it in one step, and it solves the cleaning question at the same time.
The same principle applies to a single person moving between areas of their own body. Bowel bacteria in the vagina or the urethra cause the same infections whether they arrived on a shared object or a personal one, which is why the sequence matters more than the ownership.
Alcohol and other substances belong in this section too, since both reduce the ability to notice pain and to judge how much force is being applied. Most injuries in this category happen when the usual signals are muted, which is an argument for keeping the more adventurous plans for occasions when everyone involved is sober enough to notice what is happening.